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Love, Sex, & Men:

What Every Girl Should Know


Reliable Information for Happier, Healthier Lives

Love, Sex, & Men:

What Every Girl Should Know

Common Dating Mistakes

1.  How Does the “Love Hormone” Oxytocin work in males vs. females?

2.  What is the source of HPV, and how can you avoid infection?

3.  Who should make the first move, and why?

The common dating mistakes women make is associated with not understanding the differences between men and women.  Sex affects the average female differently than it affects the average male, both physically and emotionally.  First, HPV is naturally attached to the head of sperm in males, and all females will get HPV once they become sexually active, regardless of the type of sex they have:  oral, anal, vaginal, or hands only.  Thousands of women die every year as a result!  They die because, according to the CDC, they began sexual activities too early in life; a huge mistake. If they are old enough and healthy enough, the body will kill the virus on its own, without vaccinations or medications.


Further, oxytocin is often referred to as the "love hormone.” Females have greater abundance of estrogen than males, which causes oxytocin to affect us differently.  The more you like him, the more your body produces this love hormone from within.  You associate that good feeling with him.  Hold his hand; produce oxytocin.  Have sex with him; produce lots of oxytocin. Each time he induces you to produce oxytocin, you become more attached and loyal to him.  The mistake females make when dating is in thinking that the same is true for him.  It is not.

Oxytocin does not affect him that way.  Studies show that while there is a chance that it will make him more loyal if he's already committed to you in marriage or something similar, he will not become more committed to you if he considers himself single.  Also, sperm is loaded with oxytocin!  In sperm, studies on oxytocin focus on how it aids in motility, erection, and ejaculation.  However, oxytocin affects women in many ways; from childbirth to bonding with others.  Kiss a man and his DNA can be found in your mouth; so I don't think it's too far of a reach to imagine that when his sperm enters you, with his DNA branding you on the inside; that in addition to the oxytocin being produced from within you, the oxytocin you get from his sperm might also cause you to fall in love with him even more!  Biologically, you have his "name" written all over the inside of you!  

Finally, girls today have been socialized to think that it okay to ask a man out.  We do have that right.  However, if you are looking for more than just to be “used”, then it is best to let him do the asking, because when he does, it indicates that his body has produced enough oxytocin at the sight of you, that he was motivated to take action.  Higher oxytocin levels in males reduces their testosterone, which allows them to be kinder, less aggressive, and more willing to treat you well.


Center for Disease Control and Prevention: Human Papilloma Virus.  http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/pubs/pinkbook/downloads/hpv.pdf

Donna R. Turner, MPH, CHES (2015) Teen Girls & Sex: Why Wait?  The Female Adolescent Guide to Sex and Dating

By Donna R. Turner, MPH, CHES

Love, Sex, &  Men: What Every Girl Should Know

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