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zebee

@ZeBee

 

Hello, ZeBee

I had so much to say, that YouTube would not allow me to post it all.  So, I posted it here!  First, you will find a reminder of your most recent reply to me, followed by my response to that reply.

I am aware “not all”, but as I said… THE MAJORITY. THAT MATTERS.. Especially as they gain more and more access to nonBlk spaces and use that access to humiliate Black women and our girls as well.
I am married to a “good BM” and even I had to challenge him on this eventhough our works directly impact the TOTAL community. He became most aware of the hate spaces during the pandemic and recognizes now the severity of the situation.
BW left the “negativity behind” when Gangsta rap came out and guess what, things got worse. BW focused on their physical and mental well-being when social media and youtube came out while BM created hate spaces in the spirit of white hooded horse-riders against BW, but still BW let these BM go unchallenged after reporting the channels stopped working and BW still prioritized BM’s lives and COMFORT above BW’s, aka their own.
THINGS GOT WORSE. Now, how’s that working for us as international human rights organizations even acknowledge that BW are the most negatively attacked on social media and by A LOT. BW were silenced when BM after BM dressed up as grotesque representations of BW for billions of dollars and in return, BW learned to remove their pysches from their bodies so they too could enjoy the jokes at their expense and support “blk-led” content… BW have earned this choice to respond negatively and I, as an ally, encourage TF out of it.
It seems this is the closest BW have come to severing themselves from their abusers and I am pro-Blk women and children FIRST. BW MUST train their daughters to overcome the degradation placed upon them by BM. BW must discourage living alongside these males. MOVE from these neighborhoods. BW must remember that she is not a living sacrifice for a men who hate her. This is all the point.
BW can no longer passively allow themselves to be walked upon as if mats by BM who won’t just let BW be. BM actively antagonize and lie about BW as a financial and social means to an end. They are NOT going to stop . THAT is a problem that can no longer be passively accepted. 🙏🏾

There are lots of Black men in my family; and from brothers, to uncles, to nephews and cousins, I can only think of 2 that anyone might consider to be “bad Black men.”  So, in my eyes, despite my PERSONAL relationship experiences, bad Black men may be in the spotlight on this platform, but they don’t represent the MAJORITY of Black men.  Apart from that, there is absolutely nothing you have said here that I disagree with.  In fact, I have already raised TWO successful, independent daughters, just as you suggested.

Many years ago, I saw a PBS presentation about a species of spider in which the male of the species was so violent, that the female refused to mate with it; causing the species to die out, as the females mated with other types of spiders.  I confess that I often wondered why Black women didn’t do the same with Black men.  However, after becoming better educated about a number of things, I began to realize just how the system we live in seems to be deliberately stacked against Black men in particular; even more than it is stacked against Black women.  It is no accident that the prisons are filled with them, for example.  Nor is it an accident that so many are raised in fatherless homes. 

Sure.  You can easily say that Black men CHOOSE not to take care of their kids, for example, but if you lift the rug and take a look, you’ll see that there’s a lot of hidden, neatly arranged trash carefully placed under that rug, that was specifically designed and organized to help create and perpetuate this situation.

As for the maligning and blaming Black women for all of his troubles, the Black man has done nothing differently from any other race of man, White, or otherwise.  Modern technology simply makes this fact more easily accessible for women to see.  Men have been blaming women for their problems since time immemorial; but let’s just start with Adam and Eve.  “The WOMAN you gave me…,” said Adam.  Recently, a White male politician made a public statement in the U.K., and blamed the employment of women in certain entertainment roles, for the increase in crime rates (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RLMH1kJtQ4).  When a woman gets raped by a man, the woman is often blamed; and in some countries even today, that woman is literally stoned to death.  So, Black men DEFINITELY don’t have the monopoly on this sort of thing.  

Music is a proven, powerful influence, and in this capitalistic society of ours, money is a great motivator to sell out your own people.  Just look at all of those Black people within view of the camera, sitting or standing directly behind Donald Trump, at a recent Trump rally.  Most of them appeared to be homeless.  I’m not saying it’s okay.  But people do what they have to, “to make it.”  Therefore, although I don’t like it, and I much prefer to keep my distance from people like this, it’s difficult for me to judge those who have benefited financially from garbage, even if it is at my expense. 

Now, I am in no way suggesting that a woman should lie down and take whatever an abusive, inept Black man is dishing out.  As I have stated before, I myself quickly divested twice.  My point is, one: what harm does it cause to Black men for Black women to carry and spew this anger?  It only hurts HER; along with any children she may have, whether those children are male or female.  This sort of thing can indeed, take a physical toll on the WOMAN.

Two: to my ORIGINAL point; for those of us Black women who have chosen to date White men at any time; whether we like it or not, or want to ADMIT it or not, there is a valid reason that so many Black men are the way they are; and the system created by White men is a HUGE part of that reason.  This includes but is not limited to: financing and promoting degrading and misogynistic music; 54% of which, by the way, is purchased by WOMEN.

Therefore, while I can easily move on and date outside of my race, I cannot in good conscience, allow a statement like: “White men make better husbands and fathers,” to go unchallenged; ESPECIALLY when I am well aware that the White men we date or marry, are the beneficiaries of the very SYSTEM, that was put into place by other White men; and it is THIS SYSTEM that makes it so difficult for many Black men to do what comes as naturally to THEM as it does to White men: “Take care of their kids.”

During slavery, White men enjoyed free labor from Black men.  AFTER slavery, White men made poor excuses to imprison Black men for free labor.  During slavery, White men TOOK Black women.  AFTER slavery, White men created a system that makes us PREFER to be with White men, and give ourselves to them WILLINGLY.  I would be short-sighted and remiss if I could not at least ACKNOWLEDGE how, under the circumstances, this could feel like a slap in the face to Black men.

Having said that, let me be clear:  EVERY woman deserves to feel loved, or at least CARED for, by the man she’s with, and NO WOMAN should be with ANY man who abuses her.  It is quite possible that as more and more Black women begin looking outside of our race for men who will appreciate us more and treat us much better, like the spider I mentioned earlier, that PARTICULAR type of Black man who cannot figure out how to access the greatness endowed within him by God Himself, will cease to exist.  Because, like the spider, no woman in her right mind will mate with him; therefore, he will not be able to sire another generation of himself.  In part, this is how natural selection works.

Thank you so much for this enjoyable, intelligent debate.  I had given up thinking I would encounter someone like you on this channel.  Because you are married, you may not need this, but if you know of a single parent who is raising pre-teens or teenagers, then please accept this gift and pass it on to that parent.

Truth Talk: The Last Dating Advice You’ll Ever Need was written and created especially for girls ages 12-18, but adult women in the dating world will benefit from this timeless information as well.  There’s a great amount of well-researched, comprehensive, uncommon educational information shared that REALLY needs to become “common knowledge” among EVERY single female.  Go to my VirtualVillageMom website and use code: ZEBEE at the checkout, to download the e-book and video, free of charge (This code will expire on Sunday, January 23, 2022). 

Thanks again, and God Bless.